Everyone seems not to like Senator Clinton nowadays. A long time ago, of course, lots of people did not like First Lady Clinton because of her hairdo, but those were innocent days and since then, our country has become much more sophisticated in ways not to like a person. There are, for example, columnists in this paper who do not like her because at first she liked the war and then she didn’t like the war, but even today, she doesn’t not like the war enough. There are Democrats who would like to like her, but do not like her because not enough other people like her and therefore, she could ruin the Democrats’ electoral chances against the Republicans, who the Democrats don’t like more than they don’t like this potential nominee. The Republicans do not like her because even though she has liked some of the things they like, still it appears that she has not found it in her heart to not like most of the things they do not like — for instance, people. Bill, I have heard it said in certain circles, does not like his wife, but who am I to tell you who Bill likes or does not like, although I can tell you that I met Bill once and he did not seem to “like” me, if you know what I mean.

I do not not like Ms. Clinton for any of those reasons. I don’t like Hilary for a reason all my own. Or is it Hillary? See, that’s the problem. Hillary, or Hilary, misspells (or is it mispells?) her name. I used to have no trouble with that name. Then Hillary/Hilary came along, and I thought, O.K., she’s a spelling maverick. Just remember, I told myself, that she is like a hill, which has two L’s, because her career has had its ups and downs and the downs have been like valleys — not valeys. And don’t forget: it takes a village, also with two L’s. But then, I started to think, it is also true that Hilary is not like a hill. Hills are covered with grass and though Bill might have smoked but not inhaled, there is no way that Hilary would ever have touched the stuff.

If only the Hilary/Hillary problem stopped there, I could live with it. But the dilemma (two m’s, easy-peasy) has leaked (notice I did not say “spilled”) into the Alison/Allison area. It is almost as bad as “exaggerate,” a word I will never be able to spell, to my embarrassment, a word I seem to spell correctly about half the time. The only reason these words are spelled correctly here, by the way, is because my computer automatically corrects all misspellings.

Hilary/Hillary, incidentally (that I can spell), could also be the name of a man, but don’t get me started on that one. I have not finished with Hilary/Hillary, the woman, whom I would like very much were she to have another name, but she does not, so I say: the hel with her.